My story

Chasing Butterflies

2009-08-14T03:54:00.001-07:00

Having fun while doodling!

Commencing...

2009-06-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

Six years ago, I was seated in a row of green chairs wearing a below-the-knee black dress with a square cap on top of my head. I was beaming when I transferred the tassel from left to right as our dean’s voice boomed “the graduates”. It was six years ago yet it still brings nostalgic feeling every time I hear that tempo of a marching band or see a garland adorned with candies and flowers made of straw. I could still remember the conscious voice of my college best friend, Vanessa whispering, “ok pa ba make-up ko?” as she would tilt her face left to right. It was a poignant day knowing that after the Rites, College life will only be an expanse of happy reminiscences - surmounted hurdles, blossoming fondness, friendship and love. Yet it was really a triumphant day given that it was not at all an easy and trouble-free four years. It was triumphant and happy day and I was beaming, smiling from ear to ear.

But truthfully, beneath my prideful grown-up face is my panicky pubescent self – so afraid of what another commencing would bring - how it would be in the world of the professionals and how tougher the competitions would be after that day? As soon as the ceremony ended, I was inevitably listed to the roaster of the ‘Fresh-blood’, ‘the youngest would-be colleague’ and ‘a neophyte in the manpower industry’. It’s a tough competition, tougher than I had imagined it to be – for it is not a competition with another soul, it is a contest with quarrelling self, marooned in a forked road.

Moments like this make me realize how cruel life is, for it would never provide sure answers, only uncertainties. It would never offer a hint of success or failure in the end, only doubts – and just the courageous spirit confronts the chances and endures the misgivings - wins the battle.

***************

My deepest congratulations to batch 2009 graduates especially to the bravest souls – Rogelio Estiban, Jr., Marisol Sibuc, Jovann Eve Tadena, Cianne Siman, Zerwin Organia, Ma. Leni Oro, Jennifer Rico, Wilter Friales, Grace Olarte, Alex Espongja and Josepheus Flores. Step up, search for your dreams and do not be afraid even if you pass by the road less travelled.

…“And while you’re out there getting where you are getting to, I hope, you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too.

This is my wish…hmmm…”

The way I see my birthplace

2008-09-10T02:17:00.001-07:00

It seems that Mindanao is once again on a chaos-bomb threats, terrorsim, disunity, red alerts. But it never changes the way I see my birthplace.

Having a day with an Artist's Masterpieces

2008-05-27T03:18:00.000-07:00

My Favorite, the Pinoy version of the Thinking Man

Wow! its all I can say as I watched the masterpieces created by Kublai Millan. I am so fortunate to have visited his home-the Unconventional Center, in Davao City and for a while feel sated in his stunning success. His works are all reflection of real life including the good, the bad, the wastes, the refined, of kindness and unkindness of the world, of the underworld and nirvana, happiness and sadness, of motherhood and fatherhood, of childhood and retirement, of knowlegde and ignorance and of all the world's inconsistencies and changeability.

It's me in the middle with Mark and Kix at my sides
Behind us are portrayal of the artist's mind
It was really a great day of meeting a genius man who believes that there is beauty even in the ugliest things.

Where are the Filipino Youth?

2008-02-12T16:44:00.000-08:00

Where are the Filipino Youth?
by: Harvey S. Keh

The past weeks we have witnessed yet another political scandal that has rocked our country, the ZTE Broadband Scam wherein former COMELEC chairman Benjamin Abalos with the apparent blessings of the First Gentleman, Mike Arroyo was said to have asked for a commission of US$ 130 Million or a whopping 6 Billion Pesos in exhange for his influencing our government's decision to award the broadband deal to ZTE, a Chinese Telecommunications Company. To make this happen, the ZTE Broadband Contract was greatly overpriced at US$ 329 Million and worse, the government to be able to make this deal push through would have to loan this amount from the Chinese government. In short, the US$ 130 Million kickback of Abalos and his cohorts will have to be paid for by our tax money.

To make things even worse, the govenrment tried its darn best to cover this deal by pressuring Joey De Venecia, the first star witness to stop talking abouit this in the Senate and in public, Joey didn't want to cover up the truth thus, Malacañang led by the congressman sons of President GMA led a revolt at Congress which ousted Joey's dad, then Speaker Jose De Venecia. The next star witness whose courage we so admire, Jun Lozada initially didn't want to go to the Senate and take part in their investigation because as he said, if he ends up in the Senate, he will be forced to say the Truth. Again, our government tried every trick to ensure that Lozada wouldn't be able to testify in the Senate, leading to his alleged kidnapping as soon as he arrived from Hong Kong where he hid for a few days. Two men picked up Lozada as soon as he got out of the plane and brought him around Metro Manila and even to Laguna against his will. If that can happen to Jun Lozada, that can happen to every Filipino in this country. In Jun Lozada's words, when he was picked up against his will, he already thought about the late Bobby Dacer who at the height of the Erap impeachment was also picked up by unidentified men and after weeks of looking for him, they finally found his body along with the body of his driver.

I can go on and on about this but the point is, this government has continued to steal our people's money from under our nose and they continue doing this because they know they can get away with it. Just look at the many scandals that have rocked the administration of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo which we already have no idea what happened like the 1 Billion Peso Fertilizer Scam and the Hello Garci Scandal. As Jun Lozada further said in his testimony at the Senate, the Standard Operating Procedure in our country now is that every government contract is overpriced by 20%, the 20% goes to the pockets of our government leaders who helped in pushing the deal. This is indeed very disappointing since 6 Billion Pesos can help build so many classrooms for our public school students, it can provide so many college scholarships to deserving students, it can help build public hospitals so people can receive proper health care and it can provide adequate housing to thousands of families. But in this case, 6 Billion Pesos will just end up in the pockets of one or maybe a few families and worse, we will all have to pay for their greed.

Nakakainis at Nakakagalit ang nangyayari sa ZTE Deal na to, harap harapan na tayong ginagago ng gobyerno natin and as one of my students in class said, he wouldn't be surprised if another scandal comes out within the next few months... it seems that Malacañang is already so used to scandals because they know they will eventually get away with it once media and the public grow tired of hearing about these scandals. Pero para sa akin, mas nakakalungkot na parang walang pakialam at walang ginagawa ang karamihan sa kabataang Pilipino sa mga nangyayaring ito, it seems that the Filipino Youth which led the charge in EDSA 2 is nowhere to be found. Could it be that the Filipino Youth has given up all Hope for making this country great again? Could it be the Filipino Youth has given up in its fight for a clean and effective government? Has the youth given up on our future? I hope I am wrong because what is at stake here is not just my future or the future of the poor, it is our shared future that we have to continue to fight for. Ayaw ba natin na dumating ang araw na bawat Pilipino pwede nang magkaroon ng kalidad na edukasyon? Ayaw ba natin na dumating ang araw na hindi na natin kailangang mag abroad at mahiwalay sa pamilya para magakaroon ng magandang trabaho? If we can all work together and join forces, we can show this administration that we will not just sit idly while they continue to corrupt and destroy our future, remember that in 2010 the Filipino Youth will be able to elect the next President of our country. Let us not wait till then to make a change, let us act now, our country needs US Now!
If you want to help and be part of a youth-led initiative that will push for genuine and lasting reforms in our government, please email me at harveykeh@gmail. com or you can help by forwarding this email to your friends who might be interested to help. Let's meet, Let's Talk and Let's all work together for our country.

*Harvey Keh is Director for Youth Leadership and Social Entrepreneurship of the Ateneo de Manila-School of Government and a Lecturer at the Ateneo de Manila University-Loyola Schools' Development Studies Program and Department of Theology. Harvey is also Executive Director of AHON Foundation, a corporate foundation of Filway Marketing, Inc. that helps build public elementary school libraries.

The child in me

2008-01-27T23:22:00.000-08:00

The road less travelled

Sandra's pot

Sandra's boat of life

Sandra's vines

Doodling is my way of easing out from the strains of a tedious day. That’s my way of making the kid in me gleefully grin and relax my adult self.

Today, I am quite edgy because of that seminar on blogging, so I stop for a while and just freely scribbled, combined complementary hues and uncovered my imaginations.

I made several of these but I’ll only show you the best of my masterwork (after all this is my first time to post images).Ü

I was invited...I was challenged

2008-01-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

I was invited to give a talk to some 250 people in a seminar for blogging and my topic, Changing the Socio-Cultural Mindset of the Mindanawan! I don’t have any Doctoral or Masteral degree relating to this or any graduate courses for this matter. All I am certain is I was born and raised in Mindanao that I had at least witnessed the unfolding of every dramatic triumph of its people, aggressive warfare and ceaseless effort to achieve peace. But I only got a view of all these events for only 20 years (I am 25 years old right now and I discounted my early 5 years since I haven’t had any clear memories of these times).

Now, I am faced with a challenge of digging up more substantial history, social practices and cultural outlook of myself and the people of Mindanao. How could had the conflicts started, who started it and for what reason had they started it? Certainly, all these conflicts have impacts to our present mindset, to our way of thinking and to how other people see Mindanao. Long before had I heard negative commentaries about Mindanao – how primitive life is, a war zone, haven of kidnappers, terrorists, etc.

As I am doing my research for this talk, I am moved to give something that is really substantial, something that could really change, something that at the end of my talk people would also dream of going to other parts of Mindanao just as they desire to go to America.

Father Scholar

2008-01-24T01:04:00.000-08:00

The death of Fr. Rey Roda in Tabawan, Tawi-tawi resulted to mourning among the people he had helped - among Christians and Muslims alike. I personally, haven’t met Fr. Rey but I heard so much about him from a friend I met in Zamboanga City. I can see the love and admiration of my friend for him as she narrated all the good things he had done for her and her family. It seemed to me that despite difference in religion (my friend is a Muslim girl), Fr. Rey became a member of my friend’s family. Not a hint from her stories of Fr. Rey had he desired to change them or their religious conviction.

I don’t know how to console my friend. I am anxious to ask her “Are you ok?” when I know that she is not ok, that all is not ok. I know it is hard for her to accept Fr. Rey’s death considering of how brutal he died. I may not have met Fr. Rey in person but it still made me wince every time I imagine his anguish before he died. Sometimes, it made question, “why would our death be so painful for the one we love?” Fr. Rey had been good, he had poured out all his heart to the people of Tabawan – he certainly doesn’t deserve such cruelty. He had chosen to die once, when he chose to turn his back from what the luxuries the world could have offered him, when he preferred to be with others than his family, when he decided to gave up his personal longings just as other’s dreams may live. Now, he had his second death violently.

I wonder how could justice be mete out. How could his assassins repay the people he had assisted and deeply loved? Would sending them to prison enliven the compassion of Fr. Rey, would it still make dreams come true, would it still bring progress for the people of Tabawan?

On the other hand, Fr. Rey’s death could be a call to the people of Tabawan, to everyone – a call for peace. That we could be united just as the people who loved Fr. Rey became one in mourning. Both Muslims and Christians similarly grieved. I hope the next time a multitude will be one it will no longer be for a reason of bereavement but for change and victory.

I wish I had met him too.

Tango

2007-07-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

Tango is our family pet dog. He was with as for almost a year now. He is a cross breed of a pug and a poodle. He was a very quick-witted, charming, chubby, little brown dog. He used to wiggle his odd tail every time I come home from work and lick my leg as I enter our humble abode. I would start my morning with a melodious bark from him as he invites me to play with him. He would playfully bite our walis tambo as I try to sweep the dust past him then he will roll over the dust as particles of dirt stick through his uneven-thick hair.

His first Bark
When Tango first arrive our home he was then a month old, just right after he was weaned from his mum. He was so small then that his eyes look so big for his tiny head and his tail look so long for his short legs. His mouth is a rounded snout with little stiff whiskers around it. His skin has an uneven-thick hair. Down after his head are unkempt fuzz similar to that of a lion’s while the rest of his body is covered with skin-tight fur. He really do look so adoring especially when he had just taken a bath. Anyway, his first bark happened after his three day stay with us. My niece and nephew visited us on that Saturday morning and it was the first time Tango would meet them. As Meg and Kobe arrive, Tango excitedly wiggles his tail and bark as if he was trying to say “welcome”. That was the first time we all hear his charming yap and from then on he would joyfully bark and wiggle-waggle his tail every time we arrive home.

His first Playmates
As I had said Tango was still quite a baby when he was given to us and he really long for a playmate. He was our only puppy then but we have one askal dog named Imang which at that time was a month pregnant. Despite the “age gap” between them, they still became good buddies. During Imang’s labor, Tango was there looking and from time to time would bark as if reassuring her. Imang had a successful delivery of five little puppies and at times I caught Tango look at them adoringly. His big, black rounded eyes seemed to soften as he looked at them. When the puppies were close to three weeks, Tango would already invitingly bark at them to play. He would impishly bit their tails to pull them out of their improvised home then as soon as they are out he would yanked them into a circular motion as if in a merry-go-round carousel. The puppies would pitiably yelp not for pain but for Tango’s kakulitan.

His first Love
Imang is Tango’s first love. We observed him to be very generous to Imang. He would openhandedly give his share of bone marrow to Imang and as Imang munched on the bone he would just look out for possible intruders. He would also willingly surrender his comfortable space just for Imang. And as Imang bloomed with many suitor-dogs gratifying her, Tango will jealously howl at the other male dogs.

Tango is Sick
I am sad looking at Tango now. He is no longer the lively Tango but the Tango who is almost shedding out of life. According to his veterinarian, Tango’s nervous system is collapsing that he is having a seizure. For two weeks now, Tango never ceased in having spasms and he almost could not stand up on his own. He would helplessly yelp every time he needs to pee. I really miss the little Tango we used to have and it seems that that little Tango will no longer return to us. It is hard to accept that the Tango full of energy and enthusiasm now turned to be a feeble and frail dog.

Even now that he is sick, he would still struggle to wiggle his tail just to let me know that he is happy because I am near him. I hope I had let him feel how happy I am too when he arrived to us. If only I could turn back time to the second he was still energetic, maybe I would play with him and not yell at him every time he invites me to. If only the moment will return to the time he has the liveliness to jiggle his tail and lick my leg, maybe I would hug him with so much love and fondness instead of shooing him away. I am missing Tango because I never had a memorable moment with him. I let my disgust for dogs conquer me and now I am missing the missed chances I might have with an adorable dog and avid best friend.

Message in a battle

2007-07-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

I had a fight with my sibling today through SMS. And I am sad because we had misunderstood each other. I do not know how to resolve the battle between us and the battle with in me. The issue we had fought about are piled issues of the past. We both burst like a dormant volcano until we both were already too exhausted to fight. I do not know how to resolve the issues between us and it saddens me.

Looking into the brighter side, I had realized many things like: we both know how to exploit the use of technology (see we fought through the SMS)Ü.

Second, I realize the importance of patience and practice broadening my understanding on the point of view of the other side. Indeed, being empathic could help extinguish anger. We quarreled because we are both in a bad mood and we are in a bad mood because something bad/sad happened with in our day. So the next time we are provoked, we have to check ourselves and be slow to anger in order for us to avoid ending in a fight with others (or even with ourselves). Let’s try to discern the hardships other might be into at the moment of our anger.

Third, I realize the importance of an open communication. And open communication means settling things down in person. Maybe a percentage of our misunderstanding can be attributed to the fact that we are just using technology and thus we had disregarded concealed efforts of reaching out. Our fight actually was triggered by a message from me, which he misinterpreted into something like I blame him. But for me, my intention is just to let him see the chances he missed. If only I had said my message in person instead of using my cell phone perhaps we ended as friends and analytical of the missed out chances and both of us might had learned together.

Fourth, conflicts are normal to happen to normal people. What would make the conflict painful/hard or even too painful/too hard to bear is the way we handle it. We tend to be irrational and emotional every time we are hurt, emotionally assailed or at times even when we are criticized. I had realized that we are endowed with both the head and the heart for us to use it together at all times. If we use the power of both our faculty (head and heart) then maybe we will derive to a well-considered decision. The next time we are being criticized, emotionally assailed or the next time we get hurt, we have to pause for a while to mull over the reason behind every scorn.

Fifth, nobody wins in any battle.

The Gospel According to My Dream

2007-06-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

The Gospel According to My Kitchen Sink is one of my favorite inspirational books that I patterned the title of my first post to it.

I dreamt the other night about Jesus Christ and I had really felt His nearness. My dream started with a conversation with the Congressman of our district. He said, “Bal an mo bala sandz pakaisa ko na si Hesus.” (Do you know that Jesus is my cousin?). I answered him with a chuckle, “Tood Cong. Abi patan aw kung magkaitsura man kamo.” (Really Congressman? Let me see if you two look the same). He replied, “Aba syempre, ang mali lang sang kalibutan kay hindi nila bal an nga si Hesus taga-Koronadal.” (Of course, we look the same. It’s a great big mistake of the world of not knowing that Jesus is actually from Koronadal City). My dream ended with me looking up to the face of Jesus Christ.

The next day I amusingly shared it with my family over our breakfast table. Only later of that day had I realized the gospel in my dream.

Our church history would tell us that Jesus is kindred to John the Baptist as His sole cousin (as far as I know. I am not an expert of Religion neither I am a reader of the Bible, correct me if you know any more of Jesus’ cousin) but with my dream I came to realize that we can all be within His bloodline if we opt to. The wisdom of our Creator is really magnanimous that He gave us not the genealogical birthright but the will to choose and decide which line we select to go with. He shaped us to be an authority of deciding and love us regardless of the options we make. He wants us too see the power of choosing and wants us to rise above every decision we make.

In my way of living, I had made several selfish and wrong decisions and to which I had meekly surpassed. My dream made me realized that no matter how humanly I had acted and decided for the past years of my life, Jesus would still want me to be part of his family tree. Maybe my dream is His way of inviting me to follow His line. Or maybe, faith is still in my subconscious after years of being a dispassionate Catholic. Whichever is the reason of me having such dream is no longer important. The point is I was awakened with Jesus’ nearness.
(Few would be raising their eyebrows implicating that I am having a well-worn, corny write-up but believe me after that dream I feel so loved).